Time Flies (As opposed to blow flies. Which are annoying. And gross.)

Instead of apologising, I'ma just jump right in -

Sometime right before my birthday in July, I had just a normal flu. After a few days of dealing with a sniffly nose etc, I felt my sore throat come back. This was unusual. Generally colds finished with a whole lot of snot and that was it. Gradually my sore throat got worse and worse. It was a Friday when I finally called in sick and then lay in bed all day. I got brother to take me to the medical clinic where I waited for a few hours to finally have a doctor take one look at my throat and go, “Ooh. Yes, that is definitely tonsillitis.” Yey.
Facebook post from 15th July:
"What? COMMON COLD is evolving! Congratulations! Your COMMON COLD has evolved into TONSILITIS!"

I have recently become a fan of Deapool. That mad, mouthy, mercenary entertains me to no end. I think I read the comics for about 12 hours straight at some point. Cannot wait for the movie to come out in February! They had an excellent joke going about it; there was a bit of uproar when they announced that it would be PG. Later they released an ‘interview’ with Ryan Reynolds where they were discussing the rating of the film. Ryan (in the Pool suit) comes in from off screen and destroys the interviewer with a huge set light and informs the viewers that of course, Deadpool will be rated R. I thought it was a perfect combination of silliness and the fourth-wall-break-ness that Deapool is famous for XD

I don’t think I’ve played proper Minecraft in several months. People on the RT server probably think I’ve died. All of my time has been taken up by my beautiful prehistoric scaled babies... ARK Survival Evolved is amazing. It’s a first person shooter survival game. A bit like Day Z, or Rust, but with DINOSAURS. You can ride raptors, and pteranadons, and giant proto elephants and FREAKING T-REXES AND SPINOSAURS. It is simply glorious. The maps are so beautiful. I actually went out and bought a new (second-hand) computer so I could play it. Speaking of my computer – his name is Kable after the character in the Deadpool comics. And like his namesake, he is prone to fits of insanity and sometimes comas. Several different issues have arisen since I’ve had him – there was the time where he would not boot properly. In Windows 7 he would just do this ridiculous thing where he’d restart after reaching bios. Then, after upgrading to Windows 10, when that issue was fixed, he began having this stupid issue where it would appear that the computer turned on, but both screens would just stay black. I eventually figured out (all on my own, might I add) that it was a graphics card issue. Instead of using the actual graphics card, it was using the little onboard graphics processor on the motherboard. Then he began having extreme issues with booting again! At one point he didn’t even boot. The next day I reinstalled windows 10. I thought I’d had everything backed up... I lost most of my emails. *is grumpy*
He is back to being awesome though. Boot times are phenomenal. Windows 10 is fantastic. I fixed up my ITunes library – AGAIN.

July also brought Cairns’ first every convention! Tropicon lived up to its name – it was a con, and it was tropical. The middle of an Australian FNQ winter and it was SO HOT. My Maleficent cosplay went nowhere, so I dressed up as the Cheshire Cat. It didn’t help that I was still getting over my tonsillitis (or perhaps I was in the process of getting it?). But I had a good time. There were so many more people there than I expected! And tons of cosplays! A Five Nights at Freddy’s costume eventually came in first place – and it was indeed spectacular.

In all my Cheshire glory

In early August, I went to RTX. I could die happy now. I really should have written everything down each day I was there! There is so much now I probably don’t remember! It was a blast! The trip of a lifetime! Oh, god, it was so amazing. I met so many people, it’s not funny. I hugged Ryan Haywood. I HUGGED RYAN. TWICE. Just... Glorious... I should really describe the whole trip:

Leading up to my trip I had my 22nd birthday party! I really shouldn’t have, but I was disappointed from not having a 19th or a 21st. So me, Lee Freestone, Lucy Raymer, and Penny Dobinson, some of my new awesome friends, hung out at my place, got inordinately drunk and played lots of party games. Penny made me red and blue cupcakes with RvB quotes one little flags stuck in them! They were adorable!

Planning that party caused me to put off packing for my trip, which was very dumb. I was up till late still packing the night before, and it was dark when Mum and Dad took me to the airport. It felt bizarre, like I wasn’t actually doing it! Me and Dad hung around and looked at the history of the airport in this little hallway. It was really quite cool. I tried to buy some breakfast at a cafe – nothing else was open. They wanted to charge $18 or something ridiculous for a large puff pastry thing. I said “Screw that,” and had a museli bar that I had packed. The flights there were very uneventful. I remember I watched Avengers 2 again on the long haul. There were a couple of other movies I can’t remember. The Qantas in flight service was really good. I really enjoyed the hot breakfasts. It was the first time I had eaten scrambled eggs and they weren’t that bad. My seat was a middle seat. The two girls I sat with were very nice. One of the most interesting parts of the flight was how cold it got outside the plane. It was going approximately 1000km/h and the temperature outside dropped to -58.0degreese Celsius at one point. Amazing. Arriving in the Las Angeles Airport was a little lacklustre. I didn’t get to see much of it – we were taken on a bus to what looked like the oldest part of the airport for my connection to Austin. I did not enjoy the Austin flight – I had forgotten my jumper in my bag and I nearly froze. Note to self, always take a jumper on planes. It gets cold up there man. Arriving in Austin was exciting. The shuttle that was supposed to be there for me wasn’t though. I had to convince the people at the counter I had a voucher for it. The hotel I stayed at, the Radisson, was very nice. I had a freaking King bed. That was glorious. I learned to sleep in the middle after a few nights.

My first day I had free. I went for a walk. Of course, the first thing I wanted to visit in America was a McDonalds. On my way there I saw a squirrel! I was shocked! Then of course I took a photo. McDonalds was a novelty. I had to message my brother pictures of the receipt and the sign for the price of mcnuggets. My breakfast probably cost me about $3 US. And apparently you could get 50 chicken nuggets for $10.00. Insane XD

First day of RTX was a blast! I immediately began making friends when I lined up in the VIP line to get my badge. Alex and Nikki were media people and were super awesome. I started a trend where everyone in the lines sat down. I hate standing XD First panel I went to was the Happy Hour panel. I was in the front row egging Geoff on to drink the snake wine XD

I can’t remember if I made it to the RTAA panel (it’s on my schedule here, but... hm...) I definitely went to the Founding Fathers panel – that was a gas. Best part was they showed an extended version of the Lazer Team trailer! I am so psyched for that movie!

I had cosplayed that day as my Minecraft character who is half enderman. I also met Gaelfox who is a fantastic RT community fan-artist! Saw many other cool cosplays, namely an Ursa grimm from RWBY, and Zer0 from Borderlands 2. Met so many people in the VIP Lounge! By the end of RTX I managed to get all of the Achievement Hunters to sign the art I did of them, well, all except Ray who left earlier this year. One awesome thing that ran through the whole of RTX was a sort of game called Murder at RTX. There were rooms set up as crime scenes and clues hidden everywhere and suspicious voicemails and if you completed all the clues and solved the murder, you got badges! I did not get to compete unfortunately; I was having too much fun running about going to all of the panels... I did get to see the first crime scene though, which was pretty awesome :D

I think the highlight of the whole thing was the VIP party... On the Friday night, I ran home in the middle of the Cards Against Humanity panel, which was super funny, and in a huge rush, scrubbed off my black facepaint, washed my hair, washed my hair AGAIN, dressed quickly, shot town to the lobby, took a pedicab through gorgeous downtown Austin (mind you, my contact were out of prescription, so everything was just a gorgeous glittering blur) and made it to the Market. I hadn’t had ANYTHING to eat that day, so I had two free drinks and I was GONE. My friends I’d made that day found me and fed me water. I was witness to Bruce Greene and Adam Kovic from Funhaus being super gay. I met and talked with so many people. Notably, I talked with Gray Haddock, the voice of Locus and Torchwick, I had an argument with Ashley Jenkins over Maroons vs Blues, I had a long chat with Nick from a Simple Walk into Mordor, and I’m pretty sure Chris Demaris was hitting on me XD. I was wearing the most gorgeous blue dress and Gus nearly choked on his drink trying to tell me how nice he thought I looked. I met and hugged nearly all of my idols, and it was FUDGING GLORIOUS.

Red vs Blue panel was bright and early the next day. Then I went to a signing with Burnie and Matt – I got them to sign my Bagshot. They were super impressed!

The Ten Little Roosters panel was EPIC. They aired the trailer for Eleven Little Roosters there, much to the surprise and delight of everyone. Also, Miles Luna totally kissed Adam Kovic.

X-Ray and Vav panel we got to see that day’s episode, and then the next week’s episode! Which is arguably the best X&V episode ever – The mad King in his cell... just delicious...

I didn’t get to see the Patch... I think I went to a writing panel? It was very good actually!

Later that evening I went to the Meet the Lazer Team panel. It was a lot of fun! It did mean I missed out on the special concert thing, but I wasn’t too fussed. I wasn’t really a fan of RWBY at that time. Not I quite like it though.

When I got back to the hotel from that, I walked in to see Kerry Shawcross standing at the top of the stairs to the ballroom. This was the RT Side Quest Charity Auction I had hear Nikki and Alex talking about. I messaged them and was like: “Dude... So jealous... tempted to put on something nice and crash that party...” “DO IT.” Was their response. And I sure did it. That was an amazing time too. The auction was actually just wrapping up, so I hung out and met some more RT folks and generally tried to not look shifty. I had a great conversation with a very drunken Josh Flanagan. I met Matt Bragg. And then I very shyly went up to Miles Luna and asked him if I could get a selfie with him. He gave me three amazing pictures. When I asked him for a hug he exclaimed that I was adorable and then picked me up and swung me around. I’m pretty sure that made my entire life right there.

The convention hall floor was so cool! There were so many booths of cool stuff! I got to sit in the replica warthog and on the podcast set and see the Lazer Team suit and everything! I even sat on the model of the Mad King’s throne – not before Ryan darted forward and caused a huge commotion by lounging on the thing! On a sadder note though... In February of this year, our dear, beloved Monty Oum was taken from us. It was like he knew he was going, and he made up for it with the insane amount of stuff he created... I was so distraught when I hear the news he was in a coma. Apparently he’d gone into hospital for a routine procedure of some sort, had a terrible allergic reaction and then they just couldn’t wake him up. Monty was 33 and married to his wife of a tear... There was a memorial for Monty on the convention floor. I wrote a note on the walls – one of thousands left in remembrance of Monty...

Day three started off with the RT podcast. I couldn’t believe I was there in person. Also, I just wanted to mention how FREAKING AWESOME my VIP badge was. It got me everywhere and I skipped ALL of the queues. Then it was the second Achievement Hunter panel! Those are always fantastically funny.

The last panel I went to that day was the Let’s Play Live documentary panel. It was run by a fella named Daniel Favelo. I had been chatting with Daniel the whole weekend; he was sometimes in the VIP seating. I had no idea he was staff until the panel. Here I was going, “I hugged Jack and Geoff and...” and he had filmed them all for weeks leading up to LPL. He has since done the best Immersion episode to date; the Five Nights at Freddy’s and is doing tons of other stuff. I knew Daniel before it was cool XD

I finished off my trip by lounging in my hotel room away from the heat of the Texas summer and occasionally venturing out to eat. I went to Gourdough’s, this place where they make hamburgers out of donuts. It was delicious, and I even met another fan there!

On the Monday after that incredible weekend, I was scrolling through new vids and trying to catch up on the livestreams of the panels that I missed. I watched the week's Achievement Hunter Weekly Update and nearly fell off the bed. I think I might have screamed a little. I finished the vector portraits of all the AH guys – I have nearly all of them signed and hanging in the stairwell now – and the featured art of the week WAS THE PICTURE I GAVE GEOFF. I was so stoked!

Below: The last three pics & bonus AHWU screencap!

AHWU #277

My last day in Austin was a bit of a disaster. The same stupid shuttle company that was supposed to come get me didn’t even turn up. The Hotel kindly called me a taxi because the international sim I had was no longer working (there was a lady there from the shuttle who was to pick someone else up, and she was very helpful too) and I made my hasty way to the airport. Of course I missed the stupid flight, but it wall turned out fine because I was booked on the next available one at no extra cost somehow and made my connecting flight. I took the long haul home with two boys of Asian descent who were immigrating to Brisbane. When I got back to Cairns, and collected my luggage and then was picked up by Mum, I turned to her and said, “I just went to the other side of the world. How did I even do that!?”

I went to get free comics on Free Comic Book Day at Kersplatt in the city. People who went dressed up in cosplay got free goodies. I, of course, went dressed at the Cheshire Cat again. It was pretty funny seeing all the looks! Biggest surprise of all was when we walked past this pub and some dude, a waiter I think, ran out and gave me his number! XD

My new favourite movie of all time is now Mad Max: Fury Road. Just... hot damn. That movie is a masterpiece in my opinion. Never have I seen such excellent storytelling with so little dialogue. And the props! Oh, gods, the propmakers in that movie! And the stunts and the characters and just... the whole thing, even though it was a car chase from start to finish, I absolutely loved it.

I had heard constantly about the book called Ready Player One. They had talked about it a bit on the Roosterteeth Podcast and I finally decided one day to pick it up. Oh, god, it is the most amazing book I have read in a long time. I started reading it at 10:30pm one night. I didn’t put it down until 5:00am the next morning. And then I ran out into the street in front of the house and danced because I was so elated. The whole story was just amazing! I so desperately want the Oasis to be real already! Along the same lines, I so badly want a self-driving car too. And then there was the day I freaked myself out a little by reading all about the exponential increase of technology and the singularity. Dude. Technology is awesome and I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Cairns is slowly getting more culture! I went to this year’s Zombie Shuffle with my new friend Penny. My makeup looked out of this world. I had this huge open neck wound and a lovely big cut on my leg. I learned how to make really convincing looking bruises too and covered myself in them and then painted the whole lot with a bunch of fake blood. People really seemed to like it! When we were shuffling about, I had a blast going up and scaring people who had stopped to watch or take photos. Me and Penny went up and began banging on the windows of shops that were still open, much to the amusement of the patrons and staff inside. There was this one group of tourists who were standing on a street corner and filming. I made a beeline for the girl in the middle who was looking a little uncomfortable. She began backing away and then turned to run away and I still came after her as her friends began egging me on! I also made a whole outdoor restaurant seating area laugh when I pretended to go after one of the patrons sitting in a walled off area. I walked all zombie-like towards her, groaning, and then I ran into a table and chairs and pretended to stumble about while my hungry groans turned to pained ones. They thought it was rather amusing. Penny got some awesome pics and vids too XD

In all our gory glory

My Dad lost his job recently which meant my brother had to move out yesterday. I am going to be stuck with the whole rent to pay now... At least any messes will be mine now. And I can have the big bed if I want. I’ve been considering getting a housemate, but honestly I think I want to live by myself for a while. That would be cool. It’ll basically put me on a diet. No more takeout dinners lol. Well, until I get a robot car that is.

I was woken up at 4am the other morning. I looked at my phone, confused, wondering if the call I’d just missed from Mum was a butt dial from her while she was doing a night shift at the hospital. Then my phone rang again. Mum sounded out of breath and really, really upset. She told me to get Daniel, that it was an emergency. Brother talked to her for a second then hightailed it out of the house. Apparently parents had gotten up very early to get down to Cairns to put Dad on a flight to Brisbane for another of his adjustment meetings for his cochlear implant (Dad got a cochlear – it’s kind of exciting!) and they hit a wallaby right outside of Mareeba. Mum was just desperately still trying to get Dad on the plane. They missed it unfortunately and the radiator for their new Holden Trax was toast. To have that happen almost directly after Dad losing his job was just the worst. I think Mum and Dad are doing okay now though.

Sometime last year before RTX, something SUPER cool was announced – RTXAU! Roosterteeth’s very first international convention! I was so excited it was going to be in Australia! I bought my weekend pass almost immediately. I recently booked my hotel and flights too. Then I tried to apply to be a guardian. I thought it might be cool to hang out with those folks and make a few friends. But unfortunately, I didn’t make it. *shrug* Ah well, doesn’t matter now... BECAUSE I GOT ANOTHER VIP TICKET. Aw yisss... I am going to the LAZER TEAM PREMIERE. AND THE AFTER PARTY. *commences vicarious dancing and hip thrusting* I ducked home from work yesterday and sat here poised over Moshtix on my computer, laptop and phone and managed to snag one. I cannot freaking wait. Today I went shopping to find some more appropriate shoes for my beautiful dress I got at Dotti. I found some pretty cool white ones (they are sky high and bound to kill me though) for $14. I also got some gorgeous white opalescent earrings and a contrasting mini-clutch on special. I am going to look like a super model. If I don’t die in the shoes, that is. Wow. I honestly can’t believe I am going to do this... I spoil myself so badly XD One day I won’t be able to get a VIP ticket and I’m going to have a rotten time :P

Roosterteeth recently released a book – the Red vs Blue official companion book. It’s pretty cool. I preordered it the moment it came out. It took forever to arrive in the mail once it had been released. I had no freaking clue that Vic was a computer program. I thought he was just some moron who worked at Freelance HQ who was in charge of the Blood Gulch sim lol. The main reason I couldn’t wait for the book is because of the idea/plan I have for a series of my own books. I want to write an expanded RvB universe series about the other freelancers – the ones not talked about in the series. And perhaps a few of those anyway – Georgia maybe... Anyway, when I do write these and Roosterteeth picks them up, I will be in with them. Then I will request VIP tickets to RTX each year!

I got bored of having no food. Mum suggested I get some ingredients for baking and make scones and stuff. So, I did when I went Christmas shopping last weekend. I was dead when I got back. It is so hot here at the moment and my grocery trolley was so overloaded that it broke the stand and then almost when I was home it ran over my heel and left a huge purple bruise that makes it look like I’ve been shot with a paintball. I cooled off by going for a swim in the pool with Daniel and his friend Elija Ibell, and Eli’s girlfriend Georgia Aitkin (from church – small world, hey?). When we were bored of that, I made lemonade scones! I was too pooped by the end of it, so Eli and Daniel made their own whipped cream. Scones were actually pretty good. I’m not sure if they are supposed to dry out your mouth so much, but I think I remember eating other scones that did that.

I got Once Upon a Time boxed sets for Mum! They were marked down even more than usual at JB Hi-Fi. For Dad, I ordered the XKCD book and for Daniel, I got him some Star Wars stubbie coolers. I also had to get a secret Santa present for my boss's wife, for our Expressway Signs Christmas Party last night. I remembered from last year that the lady really likes her drinks, so I got her some fancy, novelty drink coasters from Target and a nice smelling hand cream thing from the Body Shop. Dinner itself was lovely. We had a great time at Cafe China at the Casino. I got confused at first and had Daniel take me to the other one in the city. We only figured out it was the Casino restaurant after I’d called Matt :P We all got super sauced – well except for Hannah. She’s having a baby! Matt, my boss, decided that we would play a game that he called “Who Shot Santa?” Whereupon opening your gift, you had to guess who got it for you. If you guessed incorrectly, or if you got it right first time and people suspected that you had inside information and had cheated, then you had to take a shot. I had to take a shot of vodka before I guessed that my secret Santa was Mel, our esimator. And what a wonderful pressie she gave me! I got a TARDIS stocking, stuffed with a miniature figure of Christopher Eccelston, complete with sonic screwdriver, and a set of dalek Christmas Ornaments! I think I squealed a little when I opened it. It was just the perfect present for me :P

Oh and as I was walking home today, a little green Christmas Beetle car beeped at me! I waved, confused and tried to peer in through the window to see who it was. It was my aunty and uncle come up from 2 hours down the coast! They were in town shopping and we’d just happened to cross paths. They did a U-ey and came back and asked me what I’d been spending all my hard earned money on. I told them I was going to a movie premiere :P

And, well, that’s it. You’re now up to date! I will write again sometime next year I’m guessing :P

Feeling: My tummy hurts. I'm not sure why.
Wearing: Geoff Achieve shirt. Down with pants!
Listening to: Sugar by Robin Schulz
Eating: Dinner was a meat pie

(Witty Title Apologizing for Being so Horribly Lax with Posts)

So... My  last post began with me welcoming in 2014. *twiddles forefingers* Oops. I'll just go down the list then... Behold! My year thusly passed:

One of the main reasons I stopped blogging was that I actually got a job! I landed a graphic designer position at a print... place that I will not name here. I had to pack up and move to a horrible little dingy share house bedroom with ZERO internet capabilities in less than a week and began work. It was hard to adjust from doing nothing all day to a 9 to 5 work-week. I also had to learn to feed myself. That resulted in way too much microwave macaroni cheese...

There was also the comedic moment when I went outside to do my laundry and the landlord accidentlly locked me out and drove away. *cue Mission Impossible theme as I climed in through the window*

I made an Enderfriend!

I managed to discover a new talent: I could stick Freddo Frogs to my forehead. I also, at some point, managed to drop the pointy end of a knife on the web between my toes. (I'm just pulling these snippets from my FB timeline XD) I also attended my graduation ceremony! Cap and acape and scroll and all! Woo!

After a few months in the dingy hole, I moved to one of my landlord's other share houses in the area. OMFG I loved that room. It was an old clapboard house that had been raised up on stilts. The ceilings were so incredibly high and the floor was polished wood and I had  FREAKING BAY WINDOW. It was amazing... The kitchen left much to be desired though - especially because it had a hot water tap that sounded like a jet engine taking off. That was in May sometime I think.

Then, comedy of all comedies; I was locked out out of the house AGAIN.That time it was the wind's fault. I had gone out to pay the pizza delivery gal and it slammed the front door shut behind me. Luckily there was an open window. Unluckily it was on the second storey. Luckily there was a ladder. Unluckily I had to set up the ladder precariously on the stairs. Luckily I could get into the window now. Unluckily my hips were too wide to fit. Luckily I was able to grab a chair inside and use it to twist around and get the rest of me through the window. Cue me feeling like a champion and an idiot at the same time.

By this point, I had spent a couple of months at *print place that shall forever be unnamed* and... well... I made some booboos. I learned a hard lesson, that was also incredibly costly, that 'ordinance' and 'ordnance' are two VERY different words... Also, that place was kinda dodgy. My boss could only use certain courier services, because they hadn't paid the bills for others... I still got my pay all and well, but I had a majorly hard time trying to get actual hard copy payslips out of them. The printer of 20 years up and quit, and the admin girl told me too that she was thinking of leaving, so I began looking around for a new job, and low and behold, I got a position at a much nicer, much more respectable sign company right down the street! ^_^ One that did not have mushrooms growing in the carpet of the storage room...

I am still with this new sign company. They're wonderful there; a much bigger team with much nicer facilities and ethics. And they have cake!

I turned 21! Woo! Did not really have a party though. Less woo. *shrug*

At the same time I got my new job, my brother transferred from a university down south to the one in my city. He was having quite a hard time doing the course he was, so decided to change paths and move closer to home. Because I was tired of sharing a house with people I didn't know, and of the grimy, awful kitchen, I agreed to find a place to rent with him. Our new place is really quite great. It has two bedrooms on the second floor, two and a half bathrooms, and a lovely kitchen and lounge area. There was some debate as to who would get which bedroom. Because my name was going on the lease and because I graciously agreed to give up my glorious bay window in the share house, I got to have the bigger room with the two (TWO!) built in cupboards. I did however let my little brother, who is in fact a giant, have the double bed. Which left me stuck with a single. AGAIN. Not once! Not once in my whole life have I had a bed larger than a single! *simmering rage* But it's cool here - that is when the bro does his share of the housework. And I'm just a block away from work, so I don't even need a car.

We have been on quite a few fishing trips! Here are some of the more eventful moments:

Yes. That is an octopus on a hook. O.O

Olive Seasnake right up next to our boat!

FREAKING HUMPBACK POD RIGHT NEXT TO BOAT! :D

We left off with me having written 10,000 words on Flare. I have since finished that novel. It's absolutely terrible still XD I haven't even gone back to do a rough edit yet.

I have since moved on to begin working on the sequel to my first novel, Soulless. It has recently acquired a name; Dreamless. I think I have a theme going here... Any-hoo, it is currently at 22,000-ish wordy-ma-jigs. Currently at a tricky part. Characters are being stubborn and... well, I can't think of a way to get past it yet. 

Getting Soulless published has gone nowhere. I think I've applied to three more agencies now and been rejected by all of them. I have actually run out of agencies to apply to within Australia, so I am now looking at international ones. I best get my butt moving on making up a new application soon. I just have been so caught up with work and TV and writing Dreamless though.

TV! Oh my gosh TV. Jut a rundown of everything I watch now:

Supernatural - It's been going for so long now! I'm not sure why I'm not tired of it. The storylines are getting a bit twisty.

Doctor Who: Oh gods, I love Capaldi as the 12th doctor! Some of the episodes though - and the Chrismas Special just recently... I dunno. They feel so try-hard. Other bits are genius though and make me have all the feels ^_^

Grimm: IS AMAZING. Fullstop.

Once Upon a Time: I got so pissed when I saw that the latest season would be Frozen inspired. I highly disliked the movie that so many people are now obsessed with. But, the season turned out okay. ALSO CAPTAIN SWAN. *swoons*

Brooklyn Nine Nine: Good comedy. I haven't been wathcing it lately though. Not sure why. *shrug*

Castle: So great still! Caskett is official and so completely adorable!

2 Broke Girls: Another that I haven't been keeping up with. *more shrugs*

Marvel's Agents of SHIELD: Pretty great series. Been getting my Marvel hit to tide me over till the next Avengers.

The Vampire Diaries: I can't believe I ever bothered with True Blood (except for those bits where Alexander Skarsgard takes his shirt off). This is where it's at. And oh my giddy aunt, is Damon Salvatiore/Ian Somerhalder the TASTIEST thing in existence.

Sherlock: This show is the BOMB. It might only have three episodes to a season, but oh dear heaven, is it grippingly good.

Chuck: This show has been finished for a good number of years now and I have no idea why I never saw it and then resisted seeing it. It is so freaking funny and adorable and wonderful. My mother is now torn between me wanting to marry Munroe from Grimm and Chuck XD

Fairy Tail: A great anime. I am so excited now that I am getting to the dubbed seasons with the character voice by Michael Jones in it.

Gravity Falls: Dude. This is so not a kids show. AND IT'S AWESOME.

My brother bought an Xbox One. I played Destiny for about three days straight! Then he hid it away in his room and I haven't gotten to play it again... *grumble*

Art! I have been doing so much art! Mostly design at work, but it must have shaken something loose in me because I started doing a comic based on the retarded and hilarious stuff that goes down on the Minecraft server that I play on. The people on there love them and get annoyed when I don't post a new one in a while. It has certainly given me some experience and practice drawing people, which is fantastic.

The other art I have been doing is based around a fandom with which I am now completely obsessed. I am now, and extremely proud to call myself  Cockbite. I have nourished a liking for Roosterteeth for a while now, but now I am hard and fast in love with the whole kit and cockadoodle. I can't wait to get my Achievement Hunter fix each day and the Rooster Teeth Podcast is the highlight of my week. I have, since I began earning money, begun buying myself RT merch by the bucketload. These guys are my life. I am so psyched for August now, because in July last year, they had a campaign to fund thier first full-length feature film called Lazer Team. As part of that fundraiser, they sold 100 VIP tickets to thier convention RTX this year. I was one of the lucky few to grab one. I AM SO EXCITED. I haven't booked my plane tickets or asked for time off yet, but I still absolutely cannot wait to go.

These are the art pieces I have done:

The delicious Ryan Haywood in his GTAV costume

More Ryan!

Here, have some rude Geoff Ramsey too

(He retweeted this I NEARLY DIED)

And of course some lovely mingy Brit

aka: Gavin Free :P

This is a fanart of a fanfic... 

involving Ryan Haywood

Fic-ception!

More Ryan...

Not Rooster Teeth, but still video game inspired ^_^

From that same fanfiction...You may have noticed
that I am now a *tiny* bit obsesed with Ryan...

What's this? A craft project?

Painting finished!

A dog's breakfast...

But suddenly; a whole bag appears!

I call it... the Bag Shot.

It hasn't been all smiles and rainbows in the RT fandom of late though... Just last week, beloved animator and creator of the hit series RWBY, Monty Oum passed away. He was only thirty three, and slipped into a coma resulting from a server allergic reaction during a routine hospital procedure. It was a shock to everyone... I couldn't beleive what I was seeing when I woke up to the news that weekend, and then again a few days later when I started scrolling through Tumlr and saw 'RIP' posts... It was a crippling thought that someone so young and so vital could be snatched away from us... 

I saw the sweetest post on Tumblr about the whole sad situation. I can't remember what it was exactly, but, it was somehting along the lines of imagining that Monty would immediately be signed up to be a muse and instead of when you start on your next creative project and you expect your muse to be some ancient greek goddess with a robe to sit on your shoulder, you get this young asian man with tired eyes and a cheeky smile who dresses like an anime character and kicks ASS at DDR. So that is what I've been imagining lately; Monty on my shoulder, poking me in the face when I get distracted. I guess Monty will never die in that regard; he will live on through all of us, and all that we create from being inspired by him...

We'll miss you Monty; you were freaking amazing.

The only other news I can think of at the moment is my completely non-existent dating life. I have discovered that I live practically under a rock. I meet NO-ONE. I have been trying a few dating apps, but with very little results... I went on two dates with a bloke I could only really see as a mate. I seriously think that there are no men in my city. It's depressing and lonely... Ah well. I'll just have to finish writing these books, get them published, and become a rich, famous author. I should be able to go out then and meet other humans... right?

Feeling: Tired. Neck is sore from so much computer time. Also guilty that my weekend involved barely any writing.

Wearing: My Tower of Pimps tee! Also; pants are for bitches.

Listening to: The Nights by Avicii and Lovers on the Sun by David Guetta on repeat. SO GOOD.

Eating: I had KFC for dinner. That's porbably why my chest feels funny; all that cholestorol is getting to my heart :P

Flare; To Begin Burning Brightly

Good afternoon 2014!

Hah. Look. I spelled the date right.

So, following the trend a myriad of other online blogs, tumblrs, tweets and Facebook posts have, I will welcome the new year. Hi 2014! Nice to meet you. Do you take tea or coffee? Uh-huh, and how many sugars with that?

Honestly though, I don't think I'm as concerned with the change of the year as other people are. On Facebook I've seen posts saying things like "So sick of this year. Can't wait for it to be over. I hope things are better in the new year." I don't understand those people. You may as well say "So sick of this hour. Can't wait for the next one. Maybe it'll be better." There is literally no difference between 11:00pm on December the 31st and 1:00am on January the 1st. If you are trying to make things better in your life, why wait for an arbitrary human construct to give you permission to start? Why not just start right now?

This also means that I don't really make resolutions either. Sure, I have goals that I want to achieve but it doesn't matter to me what the date is. 

This might make me seem a bit like a cynic; I really do appreciate the celebration of bringing in the new year, but I just don't follow the hype as much as others do.

With that dry grumble out of the way, I have much news to announce! Many things have happened!

I finished my university degree! I am now qualified with a Bachelor of New Media Arts, majoring in Media Design.

I sold some art! Seriously, I keep accidentally selling art. I've logged onto DeviantART several times to find that people have just gone and bought prints of the same piece of Doctor Who fanart I did ages ago. I also sold a print of a painting in our graduate exhibition at uni. Go me!

I went fishing! All I caught was bait...

I applied for jobs! And was declined for them all. *sadface*

I'm thinking of making a Youtube channel! It will be a kind of vlog with me talking about all the weird and wonderful dreams I have. Also other things, like me being bad at games and good at writing. Go to The Ink Stained Brain to look at my as yet nonexistent videos and fancy channel art.

And finally, I accidentally wrote half a new book! Seriously. It's already half done. 42,000 words. Somehow, I wrote 10,000 words yesterday. It's boggling my brain a little bit. I suppose the reason it's been so fast and easy is because it's based on the first full novel I ever wrote, Sparks. 

I did a complete overhaul of the plot, deleted one character and added another. Some of the major themes are still there, but a lot of them have been trashed. And I started writing the whole thing from scratch. There has been no copy and paste, mainly because original Sparks was writing in first-person while the new edition, now called Flare is in third-person. I did enjoy writing first-person, but third-person gives a lot more freedom. It's more logical for if an when you want to switch between characters, or show a 'many years ago' style thing.

Which means I should probably update the Sparks info tab at the top of this blog.

Label for the file of notes for Sparks. I designed it to look like a laboratory
filing system label. All I need now is a 'TOP SECRET' stamp.

Now for a question for all you writerly types out there. How do you name your characters? Do you take names from people you already know and let the character take on aspects from them? Do you just pick names that you think sound cool? Do you research name meanings relating to the character's personality?

Personally, I prefer the latter method. I don't think people will ever pick up on looking up names to see what a character's true nature is like, but I like having those little in-jokes.

Feeling: Accomplished. 10,000 words in a day man!

Listening to: O Death sung by Jen Titus from the Supernatural soundtrack. Brr. Chilling. Also Short Change Hero by The Heavy, from the Borderlands 2 soundtrack. Delish.

Wearing: Grey shirt with pink printed tie and denim short shorts. It's an average day.

Eating: Had some Macca's for lunch. I have a miniature Boost bar sitting on my desk staring at me though...

Hold E to Swap for Shotgun

Good evening lads and ladettes.

I feel ridiculously proud of myself today. I accomplished many things, the first of which was finally completing Halo: Combat Evolved. The original one. For PC. I honestly can list the number of video games I've finished on one hand. The main reason for this is because I generally play never-ending games like Tycoons or the Sims. The other reason is that I have very little hand-eye-finger-keyboard coordination and suck very badly at FPSs. But a few days ago, I sat down and decided I would finish Halo. It was thoroughly enjoyable! The worst/best part of the whole thing would have had to have been the final run through the Pillar of Autumn in the Warthog. The first time I tried it, I rolled the stupid jeep several times and the timer ran out with me only ten metres away from the ship I was to escape on. The clock hit zero, the Autumn's engines detonated - and my game closed. It seemed like the ship blew up so hard that my game crashed XD

Yay! Mastercheif!

Another thing that happened, was that I finally got all my grades for my final semester of university! I got three credits and a distinction, and as such, I am now qualified with a Bachelor of New Media Arts, Majoring in Media Design. I printed out the summary page and stuck it to the fridge to show it off...

Another, if lesser, accomplishment is that I cleaned up my incredibly messy downloads folder. Now all of my files are lovely and organised on my external drive, all with proper names and folder systems. It just feels so nice to sit down at a computer and know that everything is in it's right place and nothing is named 'asdfjhalfkh.jpg'.

On a bit of a down note, I didn't get the pre-press design job I was angling for this week. It was a very sudden and hectic process. I saw the ad one day, somehow got and interview the next day and then had to wait nearly two weeks to hear back from the interviewer. He kept delaying and delaying. I had a new rental place all lined up nice and close to the job too. /sigh. Ah well. I shall continue my searches.

There is nothing new on the novel front. I had a look at the website of the agency to which I've submitted my current manuscript and been a bit confused to see that they've closed submissions. I do not know whether this means they will still be considering my novel /shrug.

Does anyone else shop at second-hand shops? I absolutely LOVE them. Just the other day me and my mum were doing the rounds here in our little town and we found the most awesome toy ever for only $2. He's what's called a Signature Collection Buzz Lightyear Action Figure. he stands at 12" and looks like he's jumped straight out of the Toy Story movies. 

I'm a Space Ranger!

He talks - he even responds to your voice! His wings pop out at the push of his chest button and flash just like in the movie - so does his laser! He has fully poseable arms and legs, and fingers, and he even frikin glows in the dark! Unfortunately he's missing a few parts, but I contacted the company who made him and they are willing to send me all the missing parts for a bargain! I absolutely love my Buzz. Yes. Yes I am a 20 year old who acts like she's 6.

Anywho. That's all for now. To infinity and beyond! /flies away.

Feeling: Content.

Wearing: Stig (from Top Gear) shirt and old school shorts.

Eating: Had curry and rice for tea, but need an evening snack.

Listening to: Lots of things actually. I have a playlist of four songs; Wrecking Ball - Miley Cyrus, Applause - Lady Gaga, Counting Stars - OneRepublic and Warrior - Havana Brown. I am also listening to the old Roosterteeth podcasts, back when they were called the Drunk Tank. I am currently up to #18. They're brilliant ^_^

Rejected! Yay!

Good day fine internetters.

So, I've been quite busy lately. I have had a surprising amount of university work to contend with. And contend I have. We aced a presentation just two days ago, and I have been highly commended for my graphic design work in another subject. Work is going very well too. I managed to find several of the posters I designed up in a tavern in town. It's ridiculously satisfying to see one's work actually being used.

But, the main purpose of this post is to let you all know that I got a rejection! Woo! The submission I sent to the Cameron Creswell agency about Soulless in July has finally gotten back to me. Here is the letter:

Dear Ms Hudson,
Thank you for your submission. We have now had a chance to consider this title and do not think we are the best agents to represent you. We already have a long list of client authors and only take on new authors if we believe very strongly in their writing and our ability to place the work.
However, another agent could well have a different and more enthusiastic response to your work and we suggest that you contact some of the other agents listed on the website of the Australian Society of Authors at www.austlitagentsassoc.com.au.
Thank you for thinking of The Cameron Creswell Agency and we wish you all the best in finding an agent and publisher.
Regards,
Sophie Hamley

Now, I'm not too sure whether this is an actual letter or rather a generic reply. But anyways, it's a rejection and the first step towards being published! When I tell people that I got a rejection, they always seem ready to commiserate,  and then seem confused when I smile and tell them that it's a good thing. I mean, I totally expected it. It really is the first step to being published. And now I get to go and ask someone else. I think it's important to have such a positive attitude about it, otherwise I'll just be completely miserable every time someone says no.

And now for other news. I went to a party dressed as a lego block. The theme was 'Toys from your Childhood'. I unfortunately have no pictures, but just know that it was the most epic fifteen-second costume.

I managed to get my hands on the latest Skulduggery Pleasant book, The Last Stand of Dead Men. My goodness. The feels. Me and every other fan I know just want to strangle the author. The moments of comedy were beautiful, but the low moments were so dark and dismal... I cried a couple of times. And the worst part is that I have to wait a whole year for the series finale.

I am now a Supernatural fan. I remember I watched the first season quite a while ago and got a little bored of the 'let's find dad' storyline. But I finally decided to get back into it because I really wanted to meet a character who would appear later in the show. I was so glad I did. The show got considerably better after the first season, and when they introduced that lovable, scruffy, poker-faced angel in a trench coat, Castiel, I was in love. I am now waiting very impatiently for the start of next season. For the start of all the new seasons actually. Everything I love is coming back sometime this October or November. It will be wonderful.
I also entered a Threadless design challenge! I've always wanted to see a Herobrine themed Minecraft tee, so I thought this competition would be the perfect opportunity to try and get one printed. It's my first submission ever, but here's to hoping. To see or vote for my shirt, go here: http://thrdl.es/~/2g3H

And now for some more Soulless art!

Rook and Evie being growly

Rook and Evie being less growly

My own strange version of a chimera

"Quintin Rthrant Xesi Esiorto at your service,"

Faaro Lovell

An old friend of Rook's named Turi.

Feeling: Like I should get back to work.

Eating: Gonna go get the last of my delicious birthday cake.

Listening to: Black and Gold by Sam Sparro.

Wearing: Short shorts and high school senior shirt.

Paradoxes, Pellets, Puzzles and Puft

Look! It's not three o'clock in the morning! I actually managed to finish this one before midnight. Go me.

Anywho, here for your entertainment, is the next installment of the Passage of the Planeswalkers.

It might also be the last for quite a while as I am starting a new fatansy character in a campaign we are going to call The Seeds of Ragnarok. My new character is a warlock by the name of Bubbles the Bloodletter. Dis gon' be gooood...

The weird sorcerer, Orin, was back. He had an elbow in the crystalline gates of Lisseth, effectively keeping them open. He was focussed however, on the two butterflies he held gently between his fingers. He appeared to be trying to make them mate. Lereahl, Rathalohse and Mulch watched in amusement as the newcomer to their group, a small gnome druid named Glo Shortcloack who had black eyes, green hair and a saucepan on her head, offered to help the man. With surprising skill, Glo was able to make the two reluctant insects get down to business quite successfully. Orin seemed delighted and sent the travellers on their way through the portal, only after gratefully kissing Glo.

 

The white magic sizzled around the planeswalkers, drawing them forwards them into some new, mysterious world. In unison, the four felt that they had somehow passed through a doorway. Their vision cleared to see that a huge door had indeed swung shut behind them. Rath and Lereahl glanced knowingly at each other and drew their weapons immediately. The two gnomes looked at them in confusion.

“We’ve been here before,” explained the ranger.

“This plane is called Parallelodox. I don’t know how it came to be, or why it does what it does, but every time you open another door, uh, interesting things are bound to happen,” added Lereahl.

They took in the room before them. The walls were made of smooth, black stone bricks. Out of the corners of one’s eyes, they appeared to bleed. In the middle of the room was a huge stone bowl of deep red blood, held up by a hideously carved claw. Surrounding it in seductively glinting piles, was a mountain of gold and jewels. Mulch gasped. Before anyone could stop her, she had thrown herself at the treasure. She stopped however when the room was suddenly filled with soft, menacing laughter. Wisps of darkness swirled, forming into a humanoid shape in front of Mulch. The creature was eight feet tall and had the head of a vulture. It hunched down, peering with beady eyes into Mulch’s face.

“Greetings... adventurer...” it croaked.

Mulch stared coldly back at it. The others were silent in shock.

“I have a question,” the gnome said.

The vulture demon cocked its scaly head.

“Go on?”

“If I take some of this treasure, do I have to give you anything?”

The vulture smiled. It wasn’t a pleasant smile.

“No.”

“Trade anything?”

“No.”

“Give up anything at all?”

“No.”

Mulch eyed the demon bird warily, then bent down and picked up a single gold coin.

The vulture demon laughed.

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t take anything from you. And so I shall take your life...” it hissed. It gestured and suddenly the whole room was plunged into a complete magical darkness.

“Damned,” muttered Mulch.

Lereahl heard a sharp intake of breath on his right, then felt a small hand on his rear. Glo had reached out to find him and Rath in the darkness. Up ahead, he could hear Mulch cursing and stumbling around, causing clinking cascades of gold. The creature screeched and Lereahl raised his bow, hearing Rath do the same, and aimed for the noise.

Something swiped at Mulch in the darkness. She swore again and backpedalled quickly. She couldn’t see even her hand in front of her face in this inky blackness. She reached into her backpack for an item she’d picked up on a recent adventure. She thrust the glowing banner up into the darkness, creating a tinysmall globe of light. The demon screeched again at the light and then again as two arrows whizzed through the darkness, burying themselves in its flesh. Glo had run forwards now, slipping and sliding across the gold. She swung her hammer at the monster, connecting with a sickening thud. Mulch lashed out with a dagger, and narrowly avoided the talons that clawed at her face. She cried out as the hooked beak sank into her shoulder. She turned and dove into the gold pile, the creature’s claws raking across her back. In the darkness, Glo had lost her sense of direction and could no longer reach the demon. Mulch on the other hand, had turned again and leapt from her hiding place in the treasure, hoping to surprise the demon, but instead had leapt into its waiting arms. Another arrow found demon flesh as it gave a triumphant cry. Mulch cried and struggled free of the claws, avoiding the snap of the beak this time. She dove back into the gold pile. With a soft whisper, the darkness around the planeswalkers began to dissipate. The demon gave a displeased growl and then spun at Lereahl as he shot it again. There was sudden movement from behind the demon. Like some strange gold-dwelling shark, Mulch leapt from beneath the surface of the treasure, glee on her face, a dagger in each hand. The demon screamed as she sank them both into its spine. It collapsed in a flurry of hissing darkness.

 

“So, which door?” asked Glo, looking around at the four doors. They’d just finished divvying up the treasure. Lereahl shrugged and strolled towards the door straight across from the one they’d originally stepped through. He grasped the huge brass ring and pulled. The room beyond had another stone bowl of blood in the middle. The walls were black stone too. There were people standing looking through a door on the right hand side of the room. One was tall and blonde, another had a top hat, and the last two were short. The shortest wore a saucepan on her green hair.

“Uh...” said Lereahl. He turned around to see his fellow companions right beside him and staring confusedly back at him from the door on the right in the room behind them.

“That’s us...?” asked Glo, scratching her head.

“I, uh, think so,” said Lereahl, looking again through the door at the other ‘him’. “We’ve created a paradox. This door leads to, well, this room again.”

Rath, however, narrowed his eyes at the other figures. He drew back his bow and fired at the other version of himself – and received an arrow in his ribs from the Rathalohse behind him. Lereahl shut the door quickly as Rath turned and began yelling at himself. The half-elf shook his head, as if to clear it.

“Well. That was weird,” he said. Glo and Mulch nodded, still a bit dumbfounded. Rath just glowered and pulled his arrow out. As they went to open a different door, Lereahl was suddenly struck by how sexy he looked from behind.

 

This room was much easier to adjust to. Growing from an earthy floor was a small forest. The trees were huge and quite shady, and a clear path seemed to lead from their door to the others. Along the path however, were strange bundles. When examined closely, one could see the bones of all sorts of animals, or occasionally a humanoid skull and metal armour. Glo had knelt next to one and was poking it with a stick.

“Pellets,” she said.

“Excuse me?” asked Lereahl.

“Pellets. Owl pellets. They cough them up,” the gnome explained.

“Huh. Well, I don’t see how a little owl could cough up something as big as that. That would have had to come from an owl that’s, what, about ten feet tall?” said Rath. He began to laugh at the idea but then paused mid-chortle, realising what he’d just said. Lereahl’s brow creased.

“Eyes on the sky,” he said warily.

They walked along the forest path, weapons trained nervously on the curiously bright ceiling far above them. The pellets were many here. Lereahl didn’t want to think about how many giant owls had made them. Without warning, the half-elf felt a strange tingling shoot across his chest. He rubbed at the area, looking under his shirt to see the strange magical tattoo there squirming slightly on his skin. The silver owl’s feathers seemed to ripple. There were gasps of fear from the rest of the group and Lereahl was startled as he looked up to see an enormous black owl land silently in front of them. It was, as Rath had guessed, about ten feet tall. Its wingspan was a breath taking thirty feet wide. They all drew their weapons, waiting for the creature to attack. It didn’t however. It looked at Lereahl, head bobbing, huge silvery eyes wide and curious. Lereahl was stunned as it hopped closer. It lowered its enormous head and nuzzled at his chest, knocking him over.

“Er, hi,” he said, stroking one of the white streaks that ran from the corner of its eye up to the tip of its ear feathers. The great black owl twittered softly, seeming to enjoy the petting.

“Why’s it doing that?”  asked Glo.

“Perhaps it likes his owl tattoo,” joked Rath, who’d noticed the half-elf clutching his chest moments before.

“Lereahl has an owl tattoo?” asked Mulch. “How do you know about this, ranger?”

“I uh...” Rath mumbled, his face turning rather pink, but the group was distracted by a soft whooshing noise coming from behind them. Another huge owl, a tawny, was diving towards them, gleaming talons outstretched. The black owl leapt to intercept the giant tawny. The two enormous birds collided with and odd crunch. The tawny shrieked as the black owl’s claws raked its breastbone, spattering the companions with drops of hot blood and feathers. There was another screech behind them and they turned to see three more owls swooping overhead. There was a grey, a brown and a pure white one. Rath, who’d already drawn his bow back when the black owl had landed, turned his arrow instead on the brown one. It hit the owl and sent it plummeting into the trees. His next arrow was true too, downing the huge grey owl as it swooped low, snatching at Mulch and Glo. Glo wasn’t interested in trying to hit the enormous creatures. Instead she ran towards the black and tawny owls who were now screeching and wrestling on the ground, kicking up plumes of dust and knocking down small trees. The tawny threw off the black owl, who then backed down slightly. Glo had her hands up in a peaceful gesture and was calling softly to the tawny owl. The black owl returned to Lereahl. Glo continued cooing to the tawny owl. It stared at her, its intelligent amber eyes cold, but did not attack her. Lereahl had turned now too. He fired and arrow at the pure white owl which had just dived low to claw at him. The white owl was winged and crashed to the ground. It screeched horribly, thrashing and fluttering, its wing dragging behind it. It lashed out, clawing Rathalohse. The ranger strung another arrow and put the creature out of its misery.

Mulch handed Glo a nice fish he’d been saving for a snack. She took the fish and laid it down in front of the tawny owl. The great bird eyed her warily, but then bent down and snatched up the morsel. After a little more coaxing, it allowed itself to be petted, and eventually followed Glo, Mulch, Rath and Lereahl and his black owl towards the next door.

 

The door was a little stuck, seeming to have not been used for some time, despite the well worn path leading to it. They managed to push it open when Lereahl’s new friend gave it a nudge with his head. The room beyond was a dazzlingly white. In the middle of the room, a large white sphere hovered. It was covered in flowing, shifting, spinning gold lettering. The words seemed to be written in every language imaginable and occasionally they could catch one in common as it flitted past. They were words like dreams, happiness and wishes. Lereahl was immediately a bit wary of the room and the sphere. He looked closer at both, but really couldn’t sense anything bad at all. In fact, the room seemed to give off rather pleasant vibes.

“What is it?” asked Mulch, looking starry eyed at the sphere.

“I don’t know,” murmured Lereahl. He began to walk towards the sphere, his arm outstretched. Rathalohse had seen the flickering word wish and begun wondering what his most dearest wish would be. He immediately thought of cheese. He smiled as he imagined having a block of the most delicious cheese ever created. As he imagined this, he suddenly became aware of a lump in his pocket. He put his hand in the pocket, and pulled out a lump of nice yellow cheese. He stared at it in confusion, broke a tiny crumb off and tried it. He almost swooned with delight.

“Guys... It’s a wish machine,” he said groggily, his eyes half closed with happiness.

“A wish machine?” said Mulch, turning back towards the sphere, a thoughtful look on his face. Immediately, the gnome began wishing to be a male again. Somewhere in her adventures, Mulch had once been a he. Through a mysterious and unlucky series of events, he’d been turned into a woman, and cursed to never be able to wear pants again. But no matter how hard Mulch wished, she did not become a man again.

“Damned. It’s not working,” she said grumpily. “You’ve used up the wish on that stupid cheese! I could have been a man again!” she yelled at Rath. Rath looked highly offended.

“Never insult the cheese!” snapped the ranger.

“Guys, stop bickering. I think I know why your wish didn’t work,” said Lereahl. He’d approached the sphere and placed his hand on the swirling gold and white surface and his head had suddenly been filled with images of all sorts of weird and wonderful contraptions. There were incredible folding ladders, amazingly fine suits of armour, the most beautiful weapons imaginable, dazzling, delicious looking foods – but none of these things were magical.

“Your wish was a magical one. I don’t think the machine grants magical things,” Lereahl said, removing his hand from the sphere.

“Oh...” said Mulch. Instead, she began thinking of her second dearest desire. A pair of pants so good that she’d be able to finally wear them again. Suddenly, she was wearing pants. She laughed in delight. They were the softest, most well fitting pants she’d ever worn. As she investigated further, she found that the pants were covered in many zips and pockets and seemed to be infinitely customisable. The gnome beamed with happiness.

Glo was thinking hard about what she might want. She looked up at the half-elf and the human ranger, realising again how short she was as a gnome. She wished that she had some way to be as tall as them. A pair of stilts appeared on her feet. They were comfortable and instantly easy to use. They were also quickly adjustable, allowing her to be as tall or as short as she wanted in a matter of seconds.

Lereahl took a long time to decide. There was really nothing he wanted or needed currently. He had plenty of gold and treasure and his magical bow was something that probably wouldn’t be surpassed by anything the machine could give him. He stroked the black owl’s head thoughtfully as it bent towards him. Then he had an idea. Instantly, the huge black owl was wearing a fitted saddle, tack and barding armour. The armour was silver, black and white, matching the huge owl’s colouration perfectly. The owl was surprised at first, but as he swivelled his head all around, examining the new additions, he hooted in an approving sort of way. The white sphere’s swirling golden words changed to read things like thank you and farewell. The companions chose their next door feeling incredibly happy with their amazing gifts.

 

The next door they pushed open revealed a huge swamp. In the middle of the marsh, they could see a tall, sinister looking tree. Vines hung down from its branches. They swayed in a nonexistent breeze, occasionally coiling like snakes.

“Ooh. We probably shouldn’t go that way,” said Glo. “Those are Assassin Vines. They’ll wrap themselves around you and choke you to death. But they’re the least of your worries. See that tree? That’s an Umbral Banyan. It will grab you and then shift into the Shadow Plane – and then beat you to death there.”

“Huh. Well. Shall we walk around it then?” asked Rath. There were nods from all the others. Although difficult, they did manage to make it through the marsh, avoid the sinister tree, and open another door.

This room was dark. Sitting on a glowing throne of embers on the far wall was creature made of fire. He had the torso and head of a man, and the serpentine tail of a snake. Upon his head and glowing white-hot were a pair of antlers and a crown. He roared and sent a huge fireball towards the four, striking Rathalohse with a sound like mountains colliding. The ranger gave a cry, fell to the ground and stopped moving. The others rushed towards him. His skin and clothing was charred and smoking. He had no breath – no heartbeat. The ranger was dead. The others could only stare in shock. They were brought sharply back to reality as the salamander king bellowed, preparing to fling another fiery blast at them.

“Help me get him out of here,” Lereahl said to the gnomes, hooking his arms under Rath’s shoulders. The gnomes grabbed a leg each and they dragged the body through the nearest door, slamming it in the livid salamander’s face. The two giant owls shook soot from their feathers and looked on curiously as the three companions laid Rathalohse in the grass. They appeared to be in a quiet garden, not that the three really noticed. Mulch reached into her pack with a shaking hand and pulled out a health potion.

“It won’t work,” murmured the half-elf. “He’s already gone.”

Mulch put the potion back. There was silence in the garden. Even the owls had become still, sensing the sadness in the group. Glo had not known the ranger very well, but she was still shocked at how suddenly his life had been extinguished. Mulch had known him for longer. She couldn’t believe that the skinny human was gone. She sat in the grass just staring uncomprehendingly at the body.  Lereahl’s face was screwed up in anguish. He’d known the dairy-loving lunatic longer than any of the others. Sure, he was an adventurer; a warrior; a planeswalker. This sort of thing was expected. Just the other day, they’d mourned Jet and Mange, the seemingly unstoppable shield wielding dwarf, and cannonball-like barbarian halfling. The pair had gone up against demi-gods together. They’d fought valiantly, but had perished. But never had Lereahl seen a companion die right in front of him. He cringed at the thought of burying his friend.

“Uh, guys... I think I might have a way to save your friend,” said Glo. Mulch and Lereahl looked up at her.

“Well, I am a druid. Technically we can, uh, reincarnate people,” she said, wringing her hands.

Lereahl just stared at her.

“Why didn’t you tell us earlier?” asked Mulch, getting up and wiping at her eyes.

“Well, because I haven’t, you know, actually done it before,” muttered Glo.

Lereahl  got up too.

“Don’t worry. We have faith in you,” he said, taking the small gnome by the shoulders and smiling encouragingly at her.

 

Glo had warned them that the reincarnation process would take a while. When the blinding white dome of light had finally fallen away, Rathalohse struggled to sit up.

“Whoa, calm down, calm down,” said Glo, running forwards to catch him.

“Wha... What happened?” Rathalohse mumbled, looking incredibly dizzy. The other gathered too, expressions ranging from curious to downright alarmed.

“You were hit with the fireball. You, uh, died. But don’t worry! I’ve just finished reincarnating you!” explained Glo. She sounded quite exhausted.

“You didn’t say he’d have a different body!” exclaimed Lereahl. Glo had indeed neglected to mention to them that Rathalohse wouldn’t be the same person, let alone the same species.

“Different body?” asked the groggy Rath.  He looked down to find that his lower legs were slim and covered in brown fur. Curling from his new long, brown hair was a pair of spiralled horns.

“I’m a faun?” he asked in shock.

“Er... A little more than that...” said Glo, pointing behind Rath. He twisted slightly to see that he had hind legs as well as fore.

“You’re a Bariaur,” said Mulch, now trying to suppress a giggle. “A goat centaur!”

“Also, you’re quite busty...” said Lereahl, picking up Rath’s now tattered and burnt swallow-tailed jacket and top hat and handing them to him. Rath looked down.

“I’M A GIRL!?” Her new, angular face was filled with horror.

 

The four decided to rest for a while longer. Rath had collapsed in the grass in shock, her four legs splayed. Mulch sat with her, trying to console her.

“It’s not that bad,” said the gnome. “You’ll get over it after a while. And besides: boobies.”

Lereahl and Glo had left them alone to recover and were now scouting the garden. It seemed very calm here. The owls seemed quite happy to trot along behind their new keepers. The pair eventually came upon the centre of the garden. Here, carved upon a great wooden table, was a riddle.

 

I start as a box, with no lock or key.

Nothing but time and space can open me,

All my life I push towards heaven’s front door,

But I push towards hell just as much, if not more.

I drink of the waters, I breathe from the sky,

But I don’t move an inch till the day that I die.

What am I?

 

Beneath the riddle was a small thorny pencil. Glo scratched her head.

“I’ve always like riddles,” she said. “But they can sometimes stump me really good.” She laughed. Lereahl put a finger to his chin.

“Hm. Stump...”

Then he picked up the pencil and wrote beneath the poem: I am a tree. The riddle vanished. The tabletop then clicked and slid backwards, opening to reveal a hidden compartment. Glo reached in and pulled out their prize. It was a flail. There were four heads and each glowed with a different colour. It felt very magical.

“Here, you should have it. You solved the riddle,” said Glo, trying to hand the flail to Lereahl. The half-elf shook his head however.

“Nah. You keep it. You gave me the answer anyways when you said ‘stump’. It made me begin to think of trees,” he said.

Glo laughed and nodded.

“Fair enough,” she said.

They made their way back to Mulch and Rath. Rath had finally been able to stand up again on her four new legs. She looked grumpy, but definitely less stunned than before. She led the group towards the next door.

“Feel so weird not wearing pants...” she grumbled.

“Tell me about it,” said Mulch, who then surreptitiously patted her incredible new pants as if to check that they were still there.

 

The sweet scent was enough to knock over a fully grown man and send children into sugar comas. Lereahl pushed to door open wide to reveal the incredible landscape beyond. The earth was made of chocolate, the trees of striped candy. The rocks were enormous sugared lollies, the river of liquid chocolate. The four companions walked inside, looking around in wonder. Glo snapped a sugared flower off a tree and put it in her mouth.

“’s real!” she said around the candy.

“Sweet,” said Mulch, grinning and reaching for a chocolate pebble. The rest of the group were about to dive into the sugary magic too when they heard a strange sound behind them. It was a crunchy marching sound. The four turned to see a large army of five foot tall gingerbread men marching towards them. The ones in the front were smiling and giggling. The ones in the back however, had angry faces iced onto their heads. They were faster and more agile, leaping and flipping through the others.

“Hah! Ninja bread men!” said Rath, pointing. Beneath the rumbling of the gingerbread footsteps, the group could hear the bass thud of something much larger moving through the candy trees. The four gasped as a huge man, made completely of puffy white marshmallow stomped into view. He roared at the sight of the four Planeswalkers. Lereahl drew and arrow from his quiver and grinned at the others.

“Anyone hungry?” he asked slyly.

 

The four sat around the crackling fire as the sunlight dimmed in this strange candy world. They’d made a bonfire of the candy trees, which burned surprisingly well with blue and pink flames.  They were now roasting bits of the marshmallow man over the fire on long candy sticks.

“Well,” said Rathalohse, “that was the most delicious victory I’ve ever had.”

The others laughed. Lereahl turned to his new avian friend and held up a large piece of a ninja-bread man’s head. The black owl leant down and snatched up the treat, seeming to quite enjoy the taste of the ginger bread.